I’m back from a convention trip to Dubai and I’m trying to settle and find myself again. I’ve been so unlike myself for the past 2 months and I’m collecting the pieces now.
Overall, the convention wasn’t so good and it was the straw the broke the camel’s back and I’m now hibernating.
First thing on list was to clean and organize my desk. I’ve been writing notes for volume 8 ever since I finished volume 7 but now with everything clean and tidy, I can start with the new book any day.
I’m not committing to a strict schedule as of right now of course. I have the pre-orders to take care of and lots of fun things I want to do and draw.
I just want to draw. Day in and day out.
I miss my place and my quiet calm mundane days.
I never took them for granted and that’s how I learned that losing something you cherish is just as difficult as losing something you’ve been taking for granted.
Sounds obvious I know, but I feel like everything around me in media and stories tells me constantly that you should cherish what you have to not regret them when and if you lose them so I kind of cherish what I have too much that when my normal life gets disrupted, I feel like a plant taken off the soil and thrown on the side over the tiled ground with no water, shelter or care.
I’ve been expected to give fruits too but all that I’ve been giving for the past month was sharp hard easy-to-break branches. And no wonder.
I’m now back in my soil. I’m growing roots again and soon I’ll give fruits and shade to people around me.
I don’t feel weak nor strong by this realization.
I don’t feel pressured to change anything or reflect to find reasons or solutions.
I just see it as a fact.
I’ve been out of my comfort zone and I withered and dried. I’ve become something ugly and hurtful.
Now I’m in my comfort zone, or maybe in a new zone altogether that is anything but comfort, yet, I feel like here, I can thrive.