Even though I know it’s wrong.
“Rude” is the 2021 buzz word which is fun to throw at me.
I know it’s wrong because I consciously continuously put the effort, out of genuine desire and care, to not disrespect, hurt or alienate anyone. And I flat out apologize and explain myself when I feel I did overstep, shut down someone or lost my composure at a time resulting in possible hurt.
One close friend said it despite all that I do to explain my recent distant existence. and just yesterday, our bnb host who ended a convo to cancel our reservation which I was very civil in, with this;

It did bother me in the first incident but I laughed at this second. It spawned much harbored feelings from the first incident, but now it’s a thing to dissect and think about.
It’s quite the interesting twist.