Something was hitting at me for months and months. I broke in October 2020 and needed a break.

I’m not myself when I’m only a heap of broken pieces, and every time I interact more in my non-self, I break myself a little more.

My depressed self has been behind the steering wheel and I keep hurting myself and others on the road.

November 2020: it’s the anniversary, it’s not mine alone. Some people will be excited, others might do something for it and I don’t want their efforts to go to waste.

December 2020: a person needed me. I simply couldn’t beat the worrying.

January 2020: long month in the hospital. I can’t focus on anything. I’d take anything for a distraction. I don’t care about filters. I don’t care about myself

February 2020: a person still can’t let go. Not their problems. Not their grip. I also can’t just disappear after dad’d death. Extremely worrying to others. Extremely irresponsible and sends the wrong implications to those watching.

March 2020: I’m so indifferent. The movement keeps going. It’s also Black’s birthday. It’s not mine alone anymore. A person released my pieces. I’m so indifferent.

April 2020: therearestillupdatestomakeApagetorunTheircouldalsobepeoplearoundthe14thIdontwanttorepeatlastyearsmistakeImreadyIlldisappearafterOnthe15thImgone

Ramadan is generous and I want to give to others though.